Getting balanced for the New Year involves all facets of life, including relationships. I came across and interesting passage in a book recently where the author was arguing that common interests are essential to the longevity of any romantic relationship. Then he went a step further and said that people tend to take on the interests of their partners subconsciously, out of love. Then he said that, in terms of interests and life pursuits, every relationship needs 3 “boxes”: his, hers, and ours.
I was thinking about James and me. He likes basketball and coaching and playing xbox, while I like reading and cooking and art and history. Honestly at first glance you’d think we didn’t have much in common. But then we got to know each other better and soon enough there were plenty of common interests. Whether these were “developed” or “discovered” is up for debate, but sure enough, they’re there. It turns out, we both like reading poetry, we both enjoyed taking ballroom dance together, we both like the history channel, and… I like to cook and he likes to eat!
I still don’t love basketball, but I do like going to the games when he is coaching (I think it’s really cute when he jumps up and down cheering on the kids). And I don’t think I’ll be watching wrestling with him anytime soon, despite the fact that he loves it so much. I think that falls squarely into the “his” box of this relationship.
And the “hers” box? Well, I don’t think the day will ever come when James enjoys watching “The Bachelor”.
One thought on “Boxes of Love”
You still don’t love basketball? What is wrong with you? I think you need to add “learning to love basketball” to your New Year’s Resolution list. =P