So while I was indulging in my guilty pleasure of watching Sister Wives on TLC on demand (yes, I’m that engrossed in it that I watch it on demand), I saw the trailer for Virgin Diaries, a 1-hour special on next sunday about adult virgins.
There has been a lot of buzz online about whether TLC is making fun of virgins or just simply providing a documentary type piece. Here’s my big problem with it: the trailer itself makes fun of virgins, and the fact that there is a show about it on TLC insinuates that it is something abnormal.
What in the world has happened? Yes, I’m not an idiot. I’ve been alive long enough to know that premarital sex is extremely common. But denigrating people who live by a higher moral standard? That’s terrible. And actually, if you look at the statistics, couples who wait until marriage to have sex have a much lower divorce rate than those that do not wait.
Why is that? There are probably a million reasons, and I have a guess. Let me just preface this by saying that my conjecture is NOT based on research, but simply my own observations from my own life and the lives of my friends and acquaintances. My guess is that couples who are committed to waiting until marriage to have sex probably develop a deeper bond while dating and have a deeper commitment in their marriage. This probably stems from having a stronger moral background to begin with and putting more value on the sanctity of marriage. If you deeply believe that sex is a gift from God meant only for the sacred intimacy between a husband and wife, then your view of marriage is faith-centered, and you’re probably going to put more work into keeping your marriage forever. I don’t know if my reasoning is 100% accurate, but the fact remains that couples who wait until marriage to have sex report higher marital satisfaction and lower divorce rates. Go figure.
Maybe part of it to is that if you are dating without the pressure of a sexual relationship, you have more freedom to choose. You have freedom to choose to be with each other, freedom to choose to deepen your relationship on a non-sexual level, freedom to love each other without trying to gain anything, and more freedom to walk away if you must.
Again, it’s all simply my thoughts on my own observations. I’ll welcome anyone else’s thoughts as well as long as they are respectful and thoughtful.