Today I read a post by Amy at This Cross I Embrace, in which she shared a beautiful email from Rebecca at The Road Home. Rebecca’s email likens infertility to being stranded on an island.

What a perfect analogy.

Infertility is an island. A desert island. A beautiful tropical island with unpredictable storms and hurricanes. Some stay for a while, some stay for a few years. And I’m the permanent resident. I’m the bartender.

Amy is someone who was on the island for many years. I’ve read her blog sporadically since just after she arrived. Watching her come to grips with infertility and learn to give it all to God has been a great comfort to me. Amy’s blog has been a place where I could find someone walking the path with me.

She was here for so long on the island. I never expected her to stay forever, but as time went on, I think I forgot that leaving was even a possibility. I’m happy she has been rescued. It is indeed bittersweet.


I’ve been here a while now. Almost a native. I’ve learned to expect the storms. I pour the drinks and listen to people talk about their troubles. They talk about hope, about waiting to be rescued, and wonder when their ship will come. I’m the safe place; I’ll always be here. This is my home.

Here on the island, occasionally ships come and rescue us one at a time. Never a boat for me, but that’s ok. One of the most beautiful things about being the bartender is meeting all the wonderful, beautiful, hurting, victorious souls who come and go.

island sunset

9 thoughts on “The Bartender

  1. Connie Ann, I love the analogy that you’re the bartender, but that makes me ache at the same time. I know the reality for many of us currently on Infertile Island is permanent residency, but I just ache with the thought/reality of that. I am new to your blog, so I will have to explore to understand where you are in this journey. Thanks for pouring the drinks and also having a few!

    -A gal ponied up at the bar for the last two-ish years with no idea if she will stay or go.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Chella, welcome and thank you so much for reading! I know permanency is such a painful thing to come to grips with. Luckily, I’m not completely alone. I met a sailor who came by and we got married :). The posts tagged MRKH talk about my specific issue, I think. I’m so sorry you are dealing with infertility, but I am happy to have met you at the best bar in town.


  2. It’s funny (and fitting) you took the analogy in the bartending direction. I have been a barback/tender IRL and am also a permanent resident on this island. Don’t forget to sit back and have a piña colasa yourself. You’re in good company here.


    1. Thanks, Anna! It’s good to have you here. You’re right. It’s important to take things down to island time on occasion. 🙂


  3. It’s so nice to meet you, Connie Ann! I have recently stumbled upon your blog and have loved reading your insightful and beautiful thoughts on IF, marriage, faith and life! I am also a bar-tender here (or maybe the cabana gal or surf instructor?? 😉 ) anyway, I will be praying for you and your husband and feel blessed to know others like you are there to share the weight of this cross. God Bless!


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