I’ve decided that today I want to tell you it’s ok if you’re hurting.
It’s ok if you’re not doing great.
It’s ok if you’re feeling like you can’t handle the cards you’ve been dealt.
And it’s ok if you cry.
You know why?
Because you weren’t designed for this. You weren’t made for sorrows and suffering and crap happening in your life.
All of that stuff–that’s part of this fallen world.
But you weren’t made for this. This isn’t your true home.
You were made for Heaven.
So it’s ok that you’re having a hard time handling all this. It’s ok if you just need to lean your head on your Friend and cry. That’s what He’s there for. And He gets it. Because He made you.
Let me tell you a little story.
Once upon a time….
I forgot that I used to be normal.
I’d been on “infertility island” so long, I’d almost forgotten that I wasn’t born here. I’ve been drinking the water and thought I was a native. Like Peter Pan and the Lost Boys, I’ve forgotten that I had a life before this island.
Then, as with the Lost Boys in Neverland, something triggered an ancient memory.
My mom shared an article on my Facebook page about toys in the 90s, asking if I remember Baby All Gone. Of course I do! She was only the coolest baby doll ever with the niftiest spoon of cherries that disappeared when you fed them to her. Coolest. Baby doll. Ever.
Wait a minute… baby doll?
Yes, I had one. And I loved it. And while my mommy was taking care of my baby sister, I was taking care of my baby doll. And in my little curly head I was assuming this was perfectly normal. I’m doing what mommy does and someday when I grow up I’ll be just like mommy and have a real baby too.
I wasn’t born on this island. I was shipwrecked here at age 16. But this is not my true home.
It wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t always like this.
I realized that I was being too hard on myself. I was echoing the voices of well-meaning people who have never been on this island. You should be better at this, I would say. You’ve been here for over a DECADE. You should be able to handle it now. Why did you break down in the baby section? Why did you cry on your way to the shower? You can do better.
The I saw the post from my mom, and remembered the truth.
I had a life before the island. I am not a native. I never was, and I never will be.
And truthfully, none of us are.
When we are wounded by the world, we become so hard on ourselves. We say that we should be better at this. We say, “I should be able to handle this.” But maybe that’s our pride talking, telling us to forget the truth about who we are, and whose we are.
We are not from here. This is not our home; we are only pilgrims passing through. And so we keep walking, keep trying, keep moving forward, but we can’t get anywhere on our own because we’re not made for this place. When people (including yourself) say, “You should be able to handle this,” remember the truth. You can’t handle this—at least, not on your own. And you’re not supposed to. That’s what God is for.