I look around the world right now, and as far as I can see, we are walking through a crimson field of broken hearts.
My sisters and brothers are lying wounded.
Death. End of a Relationship. Unemployment. Infertility. Sickness.
The loss of a dream.
When you’ve had dreams or expectations for how your life would go, you often don’t realize how dear they are to you until you’ve lost them — when the wind has been knocked out of your sails and you’re left wondering, “What is left?”
Who am I, since I am not who I thought I was?
What hope is there, what way out, since what’s done is done and there is no returning to the innocence I have lost?
It’s not an easy question to answer. It’s one that I myself have struggled with for many years, and still fall prey to on occasion.
After many years of turmoil and grief, my identity was lost, and the one that I had tried to form for myself was becoming twisted and more painful than ever before. It was like a broken bone that had attempted to heal but had never been properly set.
There was nothing more that I could do. I was done. I was done trying to form a new identity for myself. And so, I prayed.
I asked the Lord to do it for me. I asked him to take these shattered pieces of the little girl that once was, and make from them a new creation. To tell me, since my sense of self was gone, who I truly was.
And once I had surrendered all my defenses, the answer came.
You are my daughter.
As clear as that. Not booming out of the sky, but through the words of the priest in the confessional, and echoed again within my heart.
You are mine.
And this, as simple as it may be, is the answer. This is the hope that we have when all is lost. That we are His. He made us, he loves us, he cries with us, and has plans for us. Nothing at all happens without his permission, and from the evil that befalls us, he brings about the good of our salvation.
To all the broken hearted, to all who face this new year with anxiety and sadness, I want you to resolve to take this life one moment at a time, remembering with each step that you are the child of a God who loves you deeply.
Whatever you have lost, however shattered your heart, you have a Dad in heaven who wants to pick you up and carry you, if you let him.
Give him the pieces of your heart. He knows what to do with them.