Rumpelstitskin, Belle, and the Bachelorette: Fairy Tales and True Love

Now that Once Upon a Time is over for the season, what is there to live for, really? I cried excessively as Prince Charming and Snow White were reunited in Storybrooke (just thinking about the moment he cried “Snow!” is making me teary-eyed), yet I was disappointed that Rumpelstiltskin did not react as much to Belle. I thought that after years of missing her, he would have given up his magical pursuits to be with her.

I supposed that would have been too much like a fairy tale. As much as he loves Belle, it’s just not enough.  The moment the curse was lifted and she remembered him, we didn’t get a beautiful, sweet, romantic moment full of “I’m sorry” and “I love you.” He was too absorbed in his own power to live happily ever after with Belle. I wonder if that will be a significant part of next season’s story line.

In other fairy tale news, the Bachelorette is quickly turning into an obsession. I love Emily Maynard; she’s so sweet. Hopefully, as a single mom, she’ll bring a bit more class to the show. Still though, you wonder why a single mom who’s been engaged twice would trust reality television to find a good husband. I hope it works out for her.

Why is it that we all love fairy tales, no matter how old we are? Maybe it’s because in today’s world, true love is often a rare, elusive dream. I wonder if the reason it’s so rare in the 21st century is the lax sexual morals of the last 50 years. “Free love” is one of those instances where you get what you pay for. Real, true, Corinthians 13 love comes from total selflessness and giving. It comes from a philosophy in which the love between a husband and wife is one of the most beautiful and sacred of gifts. Love is patient. Love is kind. And when people do their best to live beautiful, honest, selfless lives, they find the truest love the world has ever seen.

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. ~1 Corinthians 13

Once Upon a Time Dec. 4 2011

If you missed last night’s show and don’t want to know what happens, stop reading. But basically, we saw Prince James’s story, found out that the original Prince James died long ago in the Fairy Tale world, and OUR Prince James was his secret twin brother who grew up on a farm and only became the prince about a day or so before the episode where he meets Snow White. And of course it was all Rumpelstiltskin’s doing. I seriously think this guy is the real mastermind behind everything and the queen is just one of his pawns.

Exciting news, Prince James leaves his “real world” wife Katherine to be with Snow White… then remembers Katherine and ditches Snow to go work on his marriage. Usually I’m pro-marriage but that episode I found myself yelling at the screen when he left Snow “Mary Margaret Blanchard” by the creek.

Next week, we find out the identity of Sheriff Graham. Based on the trailers, it looks like he really was the queen’s guard who let Snow White go free after he was ordered to kill her. That’s what I’ve had my money on from the beginning. I can’t wait to find out!! May I just also add that I am completely bummed that after next Sunday, a new episode won’t air until January? Please ABC, you’re killing me!

In other news, Ben F is coming back in the Bachelor. I’m so excited to see what happens to they guy, he seems so sweet (and a little naive). Hopefully he doesn’t disappoint the way Jake did.

Jake and Vienna, Seriously?

The big news tonight was that Jake and Vienna are together. (Ouch, right?) They announced after the show that, after 3 months of living in separate states to keep their relationship a secret, she’s moving in with him ASAP.

Moving in with a guy that she hasn’t even dated? That’s a little crazy. Think about it, they had a few “dates” on the show, then were long distance for 3 months, and now moving in together? Can anyone say looney-bin?

I liked Tenley better, though after watching tonight’s episode, I’ve decided that she deserves someone better than Jake. She’s right, she needs someone who will love her with everything he has. It takes a little heartache to learn what that really means, and I’m glad she knows what she wants. That’s not unrealistic standards, that’s respect for yourself.

Ali the Bachelorette? Not bad. She did have the most personality. I liked Gia and Tenley better, but Ali seems to be the most well-adjusted and ready for the challenge. I just hope she’s not the b-word that she seemed to be at points this season.

I wouldn’t have picked Vienna for Jake, but I wouldn’t have picked Ed for Jillian either. I guess whatever floats your boat, right? I mean how much should other people’s opinions matter, especially the opinions of people who only know you from watching you on TV?

The other big news was that Jake will be on Dancing with the Stars. I LOVE that show. I don’t really like Jake much anymore. I really do think he’s just a “good-looking dork.” And have you noticed that he walks exactly like George W. Bush? Some how I can’t picture either of them as good dancers. Must be a Texas thang.

Who Does Jake Pick?

All the spoilers (which have been correct to this point) say it’s Vienna. I’m pretty ticked about that, but I’ve had time to get over it. Tenley seems WAY better, but still pretty lousy. She’s very nice and sweet, but she has a ton of baggage. The girl talks about her divorce all the time. Jumping back into marriage after only a few months seems pretty stupid.

Good lord I hate Vienna. She gives 23-year-olds a bad name, seriously. I know plenty of 23-year-olds who could handle marriage and all that goes with it… but Vienna? Miss “my daddy bought me 5 cars because I kept wrecking them”???

My personal guess… looks like Jake doesn’t pick anyone. Maybe asks Ali back on the After the Final Rose show, ala Jason + Molly. At least that’s what the previews seem to allude to. We’ll see. Can’t wait til Monday night!!

P.S. Does anyone else think American Idol has gotten extremely stupid? Honestly, I stopped watching religiously after Jordan Sparks’ season. I do think this season will probably be the last one though. Simon’s throwing it to the wolves by leaving.

The Bachelor – Jake’s in the wrong league.

At the beginning of this season’s “The Bachelor”, everyone was asking themselves, why is this guy who is smart, sweet, has a great job, a great personality, rippling abs and a gosh-darn-cute-as-a-button smile STILL SINGLE at the ripe old age of 31?

Now we get it. It was just too good to be true, really. But I see it now. The guy doesn’t understand women. He’s a little too trusting, naïve, innocent, whatever you want to call it. He expects too much in the beginning. He picks the wrong girls. He’s way too easily deceived by a pretty smile. And the saddest part of all is, he really is genuinely sweet. Maybe a bit too idealistic and expecting, but truly a nice man.

It doesn’t help that they gave him a house of seriously wacked-out girls.

He does seem to be wising up a little now in week 3. Thank GOD he dumped Michelle. I hope they rip her to shreds on SNL. Really, I’d like to see Tina Fey do an impression of her.

As for Vienna, wake up Jake. True, she’s not quite the Paris Hilton clone I pegged her as, but she’s still too young for you. She’s nicer and sweeter than I originally thought, but still too immature. Her main problem now it seems is that, like Jake, she’s too trusting of the other girls. I like that she apologized for all the bragging, and I think she’s sincere. I still think she’s wrong for Jake.

Ali, oh my gosh, what happened. I thought she was nice and sweet and fun. Turns out anyone can put up that face for Jake. She’s doing exactly what she accuses Vienna of – putting up one face for Jake and a totally different one in the house. The way she treated Vienna was disgusting.

Corrie- I like her now. I think that comedy routine ripping Vienna was actually a smart thing to do. It let Jake in on the truth in an indirect way. It came off as showing concern, without making herself look like a jealous, self-centered rhymes-with-itch. It was very clever and she deserves some credit.

Ella- LOVE her. She’s a great woman. She seems much more mature than Jake, which could become a real problem. Or, it could be just what Jake needs. He seemed very good with her kid. I hope he’s smart enough to see how great she is. Given his track record… it’s iffy.

I’m glad Elizabeth is gone. She was WEIRD. From the moment we met her on TV, I thought she was way too aggressive in a weird way. Jake doesn’t need her. And she really was a tease. Poor Jake had no idea what to think, and she didn’t explain herself very well. Even ignoring everything else, the way they communicated was bad. They didn’t connect well verbally. The would have had a hard time in a real relationship together.

Poor Jake’s in over his cute little head.

“Dating in the Dark” & Internet Dating: Does it Work?

I’d have to say yes. James and I have been together for a year and a half and, believe it or not, we met online. My cousin Tony is getting married this September to a girl he met online. People everywhere are finding love over the internet. On the other hand, I have a lot of friends who have tried internet dating with absolutely no luck whatsoever.

Why is it that tons of people are still single after months and months of being on dozens of websites?

Recently I’ve been watching that new show on ABC, “Dating in the Dark”, and it seemed to me to have a lot in common with online dating. In both case, you choose your partner from a pool of “applicants”, and get to know them without knowing what they look like. (It’s true there are pictures in online dating, but people often have a different impression of a person once they’ve seen them in real life.) In both “Dating in the Dark” and online dating, people who develop fantastical expectations in the beginning get turned off and run away when they are forced to see the person in the light.

From watching the first few episodes of the show, it looks like the biggest factor that breaks up a couple is unrealistic expectations. There was one couple in the first episode that seemed to get along great in the dark. They hit it off so well, actually, that all they did was make out. They didn’t spend any time getting to know each other beyond the physical aspect. When their true appearances were revealed, the girl was put off by the guy’s sloppy attire and decided right away to break it off. Was she shallow? Maybe so. But the real problem here wasn’t her, exactly. It was her unrealistic expectations–and her inordinate infatuation–fueled by a few too many smooches.

In internet dating, like “Dating in the Dark”, your perception of the other person is going to change after your first meeting “in the light”. There’s no question, it will change. Your only hope of surviving this is to keep and open mind. You have to go into the meeting with a blank slate. Nothing ruins your impartiality like too much flirting beforehand. If you say something sexual online to the other person, you’re going to feel awkward when their looks don’t match up to what you’ve been imagining. If you keep your online conversation to a PG level, you have a much better chance of having a good first meeting.

I think the problem with internet dating, for a lot of girls, is that they either are too naive to know what to avoid, or too jaded to keep and open mind. It’s true, for every prince charming there are a hundred slimy toads. If a guy sends you an introductory email containing the phrase “I think we’re meant to be”, RUN. Learn how to smell bonafide BS. The other thing you have to avoid, if you’re serious, is overbearing flirtation. Sure, it’s flattering, but usually if a guy is layering it on in the beginning, he’s not going to amount to much later. A guy like that is building up his own expectations in his mind, rather than taking the time to get to know the real you.

The most important advice I could give anyone who’s looking for love online would be to keep an open mind. For example, when I saw James’s profile for the first time and notice his lackadaisical writing style, I didn’t think he was for me. In fact, when I met up with him for our first date, I still didn’t think he was for me, but there was something about him that sparked my curiosity. After our second date, I was intrigued. I bought a new outfit for our third date, and after that I knew this was something special. Sure enough, he turned out to be absolutely perfect for me.

The keys to success in internet dating are common sense, perseverance and open-mindedness. People are usually much different in person than they are online, so its good not to get emotionally involved before meeting them in person. The people on “Dating in the Dark” might be shallow, but I think the real problem is that they let their imaginations ruin their chances.

So what’s the lesson from all of this? Give people a chance. You never know who could turn out to be the best friend you’ve ever had.